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I Can't Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I've Put My Faith in Beyoncé, by Michael Arceneaux
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Product details
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Atria / 37 INK (July 24, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781501178856
ISBN-13: 978-1501178856
ASIN: 1501178857
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
90 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#15,565 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
“Some parts of my life are sad, but I am not a sad spirit.†So reads a line from the epilogue to I Can’t Date Jesus, a touching, honest, and highly entertaining collection of reflections from Michael Arceneaux, one of my favorite culture writers. I completed this book quite quickly as I was devouring it similarly to the way I often do writings by Arceneaux: with many an internal head nod, several audible chuckles, and constant reminders that despite being my opposite in so many ways, Michael Arceneaux writes in a manner that feels familiar and engaging all the same. As stated in many reviews and in the interviews I have seen concerning it, this book relays the story that isn’t shared often enough but surely deserves its rightful place in the minds of many. In relaying his story, one full of heartbreaking and hilarious moments alike, Arceneaux is able to elevate his voice and thus offer space for others who feel similarly, share parallel experiences, are starved for this needed perspective, or a combination of all three. Despite being fully intrigued by the story being told, I did experience some moments where I wish the details allotted were reserved for the points I felt more compelling as a reader. Given this is something that can likely be attributed to personal preference, it’s surely not a detail to dissuade a potential reader from picking this up. At its core, this collection offers insight into the experiences that yielded an incredibly gifted writer and offered a layer of humanity and additional honesty I didn’t know I needed to someone I have long supported by way of many a retweet, click, or share. Definitely one I recommend!
When I first started reading I can't Date Jesus, I was unimpressed. It seemed pretty shallow ,and the author very narcissistic. But the more I read, it felt like the more the author had evolved as a person, the more he was a very interesting individual, and the more depth he had ,and was able to convey, in a very concise and clear writing style.This seems like a person to me, that has really found his vocation in life. Not having had a Black-American experience, atleast,, this current lifetime, or being a writer, it was very interesting to read about the author's life experiences thus far, and his being gay as well. That's quite a bit to deal with in our society.I thought that the ending to the book was very good, and really summed up where he is right now, and am looking forward to reading more from him in the future.
I grew up in Oakland CA in the 40's & 50's and went to Castlemont H.S. At that time Castlemont was ~30% black. By the time I left home a black couple moved in next to my parents. After finishing "I Can't Date Jesus" I must say that I learned more about black culture than I did by living in Oakland. Michael Arceneaux's relationship with his father was very similar to my relationship with my father. This book is not just about the trials of a gay black guy trying to find his identity, it's about the human process and how we all mature and hopefully become adults. Read this book!
Mr. Arceneaux, a fellow Houstonian, is a RIOT. I had to get the book after hearing his interview on NPR. He is the funniest (and most insightful) Redbone I have run across. When the NPR interviewer (Terry. If I am Interviewing You- You MUST Be All That), she asked him about coming out to his mother. Mr. Arceneaux said that his mom outed him (his words "clocked him") by saying "I know people at school make fun of the way you talk and walk" to which he replied "GrUUUUUL, No they Don't (finger snap). PLEEAASE!The book is laugh out loud funny. Everyone, go buy a copy to help this poor child with his student loans (he says Ms. Sallie MAE is working his nerves).His description of college life at Howard (where my dad went but wouldn't let me go) was priceless. He talked about the "TV Black People" or the Upper Upper Middle-Class 2nd/3rd generation Howard students from ultra-private schools and how they looked down on him when he first arrived at Howard because he went to a very unfashionable high school (Madison), which is in a kind of strange area. It is (was) very suburban, mixed but then us Black folk moved in and took over the whole neighborhood. Now, every house has burglar bars on every window and door.Having come from the exact group of people that initially terrorized him at Howard, all I can say is I UNDERSTAND. All of my very bourgeois friends that went to Howard seemed to connect with all of the other national Upper Upper Middle-Class 2nd/3rd gens. got so much worse (much bigger snobs) when they came back from Howard. They all became very skin-tone conscious, which I am sure did not pose a problem for Mr. Arceneaux, being a proud Redbone( like Queen B)., money and fashion conscious. To make matters worse, the kids that went to Howard were the most popular in the neighborhood (3rd Ward - not by Madison) so all of the rest of us followed their lead and became just like them. I thought it was cute - the whole act. When I was in medical school, I had a roommate (from Howard) that was very dark black. I am fairly light, but not Redbone light brown. I had the whole class calling him Sam (which was not his name) - short for Sambo, and he did not appreciate it a bit. I thought it was funny, I still wish I went to Howard.
I Can't Date Jesus is a great book for anyone seeking to understand how one's multiple identities can position their social location in society. Michael does a great job of keeping such a serious subject light hearted, but at the same time he provides much substance to topics discussed throughout the book. Michael's transparent, direct, and humorous honesty invites the reader to engage in an amazing journey through his humanity in ways that I believe is needed for this day and age. I highly recommend this book for anyone, but particularly for Black and Brown queer folx. Reading through the pages provided many laughs, tears, and healing moments. Thank you for sharing your story, Michael. This book has left an imprint on my mind.
I genuinely enjoyed this book. Arceneaux does a wonderful job blending hard and (sometimes) ugly truths with endearing humor and pop culture references. 10/10 would recommend this book.
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